Hitendra Wadhwa, a professor at Columbia Business School writes about how Martin Luther King Jr. knew of the power that came packed in this emotion.

In his autobiography, King wrote about an incident that occurred in 1943: “When I was 14, I traveled from Atlanta to Dublin, Georgia with a dear teacher of mine, Mrs. Bradley (to) participate in an oratorical contest. We were on a bus returning to Atlanta. Along the way, some white passengers boarded the bus, and the white driver ordered us to get up and give the whites our seats. We didn’t move quickly enough to suit him, so he began cursing us. I intended to stay right in that seat, but Mrs. Bradley urged me up, saying we had to obey the law. We stood up in the aisle for 90 miles to Atlanta. That night will never leave my memory. It was the angriest I have ever been in my life.”

Great leaders often have a strong capacity to experience anger. It wakes them up and makes them pay attention to what is wrong in their environment, or in themselves. Without anger, they would not have the awareness or the drive to fix what is wrong.

But they also know the downside of anger, and wage a firm battle to tame it within themselves. One such moment for King came when, in December 1955, he led talks with the authorities in Montgomery, Alabama on negotiating the end of the bus boycott that was hurting both whites and African-Americans. He realized that the whites were not ready to give up their segregation privileges, the talks were heading for a stalemate, and, what was more, the other party was trying to portray King as the sole stumbling block to an agreement.

“That Monday I went home with a heavy heart,” he wrote in his autobiography. “I was weighed down by a terrible sense of guilt, remembering that on two or three occasions I had allowed myself to become angry and indignant. I had spoken hastily and resentfully. Yet I knew that this was no way to solve a problem. ‘You must not harbor anger,’ I admonished myself. ‘You must be willing to suffer the anger of the opponent, and yet not return anger. You must not become bitter. No matter how emotional your opponents are, you must be calm.’”

Only by taming his own anger did King earn the right to become a messenger of peaceful struggle to the people of the nation. An acid test came his way on a night in 1956 when his home in Birmingham, Alabama was bombed by white extremists. In his autobiography, he wrote: “While I lay in that quiet front bedroom, I began to think of the viciousness of people who would bomb my home. I could feel the anger rising when I realized that my wife and baby could have been killed. I was once more on the verge of corroding hatred. And once more I caught myself and said: ‘You must not allow yourself to become bitter’.”

In September 1962, as King sat on the stage during a Southern Christian Leadership Convention, a white member of the Nazi party jumped up to the podium and punched him several times in the face. As the security guards rushed to his help and pulled away the hate-filled youth, King responded, calmly, that he would not press charges. In response, he said in Martin Luther King on Leadership: “The system that we live under creates people such as this youth. I am not interested in pressing charges. I’m interested in changing the kind of system that produces this kind of man.”

In these moments, he wasn’t trying to crush his anger, or that of the people. He was trying to channel it into a higher purpose.

Great leaders do not ignore their anger, nor do they allow themselves to get consumed by it. Instead, they channel the emotion into energy, commitment, sacrifice, and purpose. They use it to step up their game. And they infuse people around them with this form of constructive anger so they, too, can be infused with energy commitment, sacrifice and purpose. In the words of King in Freedom ways magazine in 1968, “The supreme task of a leader is to organize and unite people so that their anger becomes a transforming force.”

Wouldn’t it be great if the politicians “our so called” leaders in the United States would take some of these examples to heart today.  I bet they would accomplish a whole lot more than they do today, with less money I might add.

“I have a new philosophy. I’m only going to dread one day at a time.” ~ Charles M. Schulz

Illness has a way of narrowing down your scope of concern. The more severe it is, the more it seems you must withdraw into your heart and mind to deal with it. Long-term fears and dreads tend to fade from consciousness or are perhaps crowded out by more pressing immediate concerns and if you’re lucky, the process can actually put life back into perspective.

Charles Schulz’ “new philosophy” is funny in a painful kind of way, but life is generally a thorough mixture of matters pleasant and disagreeable. You may have come to realize that the mixture is a given and largely beyond your control, but how you face the mixture is completely up to you. Further, you might have noticed that you really do have an option when it comes to the way you think about the future.

Think about it this way: you can give the prospect of good more weight in your heart than you do the dread of evil. The moment you do, the tide of your life will begin to turn. You cannot exert a radiance influence on the world around you when you are paralyzed with dread, but you can have a tremendous impact when you are buoyed by the prospect of good.

You needn’t contract a terrible illness to come to terms with these realizations. You needn’t wait for a life-changing moment to change your life. You can be a force of change in your world, an agent of creative change, by simply allowing for a change in emphasis. Give weight to the prospect of good. Stop wasting time and energy dreading ill things.

The circumstances you face will be what they are, but you can be who you determine to be when you open the door to greet them.

I’d like to say that when I was younger I knew exactly what I was going to do with my life and where I was going – but the truth is like many young people I really didn’t have a clue.  And I do believe that some of the paths I almost took would likely have led to a destination I wouldn’t be happy with today.

But how do you know what you don’t know?

A business colleague asked me the other day what influenced me to start my own business rather than continue to grow with an organization.   My reply was pretty quick. The practice of managing people is often the weakest link in an organization and yet we depend on our employees to run our organizations.    I wanted to take all of the experiences I have gained over the years and offer that expertise to organizations that can’t afford fulltime HR staff, but need guidance in creating work environments that attract and retain top performers.

I started thinking though.  I believe I was always meant to help others in some form or fashion.  So many people influenced my life in many different ways. Not always good, but always good learning.  I would love to take the credit for all the positive choices in my life, but the truth is, even in the worst of times someone is influencing your next decision.

But in my reply to my colleague I reflected on two separate conversations I had in my mid 20′s: one with a more experienced coworker, and one with my boss at the time. I won’t go into the details, but I will say that a couple of 20-minute discussions truly did change my life.

These two people apparently recognized my strengths and understood my struggles. Their suggestions for my professional development came unsolicited; and as I look back I know I probably would never have asked.

If I hadn’t taken advantage of their wisdom when it came to me, I wouldn’t be in the place I am today. It’s impossible to predict just where I would have ended up, but I do know that I am very happy with how it’s all played out so far…

So, to me, those two short conversations were powerful mentoring moments that shifted the course of the rest of my life. I’ve learned that mentorship can come in the form of a structured, formal program; or that it can show up as an impromptu 20-minute conversation while eating lunch.

Who’s helped you out through their words of wisdom? How did that change your life? Were their moments in your life in which you wish someone had offered up their knowledge? When have you been a mentor, and how could this have potentially changed a life?

The point is to not hold back. Share your wisdom. You never know the impact you may have with your words. And the bonus is that the more we give, the more we get back – and the happier we are!

Here’s the thing: people are motivated to do what they like doing. Everyone is motivated to do something. The slacker who sits across from you may also coach the State Champion little league team, 3^rd year in a row, the result of vigorous practice every week.

Someone I respect as a leader very much told me the best advice he ever heard about motivation was a quote from former U.S. President Harry Truman. When asked how he managed to get people onto his team and fired up, he responded: “I find out what people want. Then I help them get it.”

Important message here.  Take time to discover people’s interests and what is important to them. Just ask them. I haven’t met anyone yet who won’t talk about themselves and their interests. If you find that job security is paramount to one person, emphasize the relationship between new long-term projects and the potential security they provide.

Discuss your own interests and goals with your team members. Then, have a discussion about aligning personal goals with the business targets and related tasks. You’re not going to satisfy every desire; people understand that. But when people feel that their own input and interests are valued, they are more committed to the business results—and to each other.

One thing is clear: certain people will shy away from negotiating because they fear the confrontation.  One way to minimize the whole confrontation thing is to establish a tone for a mutually worthwhile conversation

Think about using questions like:

1. “What would you like to see as one of the outcomes today?”
2. “What else can I tell you about my situation?”
3. “What else can you tell me about your ideas so that I can better understand your perspective?”
4. “What do you need from me that would be helpful?”

You get the idea.

You’ll know you’ve reached the most cooperative agreement when everyone at the table says, “This is the best decision possible given all the facts we have.” Emotionally, no one will feel worse off than before, and may have even greater respect for each than before.

The biggest possible payoff: A result that offers bigger benefits than anyone originally thought possible.

Any method of negotiation should be judged by three criteria:
Should produce wise agreement if agreement is possible;
Should be efficient;
Should improve or at least not damage the relationship between the parties.

I often speak with company owners and CEO’s that want to grow their organizations, but don’t know how to take the next step.  It’s difficult when you’ve worked so hard to build your current business to slow down enough to look what’s next.

So where do you start?

Examine your Marketing Presence.  This is the message your organization communicates to its prospect and customer base.  Is your message effective?  To be effective, the message should be clear and simple — and contain the key attributes you want associated with your business.

What is your Competitive advantage?  The sum of those attributes that differentiate your business from its competitors. This is your core competence. You develop, build and enhance it through a clear understanding of your customers’ wants and needs. You implement it through a strategic plan (a directional compass) that can help you quickly adapt to changes in their wants and needs.

Is it Sustainable? Can it keep in existence, maintain and affirm the validity of, support the spirit, vitality and resolution of, encourage, endure and withstand. Only through your continuous understanding of what makes your business competitive can your business survive and prosper. GE’s former CEO, Jack Welch, once said, “If you don’t have a competitive advantage, don’t compete.”

Since it takes two — a buyer and a seller — to make a sale, the reason for establishing a viable marketing presence is for your business to be on the prospective buyer’s “short list” when the buyer is ready to buy. You want to be sure that your company is among those being evaluated when the prospect’s need arises.

When you think about your competitive advantage, consider that in your prospect’s mind your company “fits” into some category.  For example, you are either a “low-cost” or “value-added” supplier. A low-cost supplier is categorized as one who consistently provides a lower cost with acceptable quality. A value-added supplier provides a differentiated product or service that contains substantial attributes which command a premium price.

Likewise, you are either a “generalist” or a “specialist”. A generalist is categorized as having a broad scope — serving all types of customers in an industry or geographical area, offering a broad range of products or services.  A specialist focuses on specific products or services and dedicates all efforts to that one niche or market segment.

The key element in your thinking should be to make a difference. You must take the risk to create a recognizable choice from your rival companies.  Your worst error here would be to imitate rival companies or being all things to all people.

As you think strategically about establishing or re-establishing your market presence, consider this process:

Conceptualize your strategy — this is pure and analytical. Engineer general agreement to the strategy — here you are muddling over the practicality of what you want to do and sharing your ideas with others and getting their input.  You might also seek the help of a business coach during this period.

Prepare a mission statement and business plan — to discover and clarify what business you are in and how you plan to approach it.

Communicate the statement and plan — both internally and externally.

Live the plan — if all the steps feel right, start to implement the plan — but with the full expectation, knowledge and intent (this is really important) you will continuously adjust and adapt it to market changes.

Not taking responsibility may be less demanding, less painful and means less time spent in the unknown. It’s more comfortable. You can just sit back and blame the problems in your life on someone else. But there is always a price to pay. When you don’t take responsibility for your life and your choices you give away your personal power.

One of the biggest reasons people’s self-confidence suffers is they don’t take responsibility for the choices they make in their lives. Instead someone else is blamed for the bad things that happen and a victim mentality is created and empowered.  This of course damages vital parts in your life, including ambitions, goals and achievements as well as relationships.

By taking responsibility for our lives we not only gain control of what happens. It also becomes natural to feel like you deserve more in life as your confidence builds and as you do the right thing more consistently. You really begin to feel better about yourself.

It is often said that your thoughts become your actions. But without taking responsibility for your life those thoughts often just stay on that mental stage and aren’t translated into action.  Most often than not, the only person standing in your way is you.  You start to self-sabotage or hold yourself back in subtle or not so subtle ways and that alone keeps you from achieving the success you dream of.

Taking responsibility for your life is that extra ingredient that makes taking action more of a natural thing. You don’t get stuck in just thinking, thinking and wishing so much. You become proactive instead of passive. You may be able to do a little about that by affirmations and other positive techniques. But the biggest impact by far comes from taking responsibility for yourself and your life. By doing the right thing.

So how do you take responsibility?

Well, it’s simply choice that you have to make. One of my favorite quotes from Charles R. Swindoll says it all.

“We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our Attitudes.”

Today, it’s easy to communicate with one person or thousands very quickly. Too frequently, however, the message gets lost in the medium and fails to resonate with the intended audience.

Here are some tips I have recommended to leaders that encourage more effective communication:

• Be clear about what you need. Don’t expect your team to guess. Remember, that one size doesn’t fit all, so you may have to infuse your cut-to-the-chase request with humor or compliments to soften the message.

• Overhaul voice mail and e-mail. Survey your team members’ current responses for their business e-mail and telephone messages, and prepare to be shocked by the content and length! This calls for creating a template or script. Each script should be tailored to the person’s job function.

• Teach your team how to communicate. While you can’t control every word that comes out of your team members’ mouths, you can establish standards of what is appropriate.

• Have frequent in-person updates. Somewhere along the line, “micromanage” has become a  bad word. It conjures up images of bosses who can’t delegate, who don’t trust their team members and who don’t give employees room to do their      best work. No, you shouldn’t do your team’s work for them, you should get regular (and of course, succinct!) updates.

• Use your negatives sparingly. If you’re telling your team everything they need to know, but you still aren’t getting the results you want, try using more cut-to-the-chase sound bites. Be sure your announcements don’t always  start with a negative, followed by a litany of unpleasant consequences. If you frequently start each communication with negatives, your team will simply stop listening to your entire message.

• Look in the mirror.  The golden rule definitely applies to leadership and business. It’s always a good idea to treat your team as grown-ups and make them partners in whatever you’re doing.

If you’re not getting the results you want, you might be the problem. When you’re open about what’s at stake and use a logical, positive tone, you’ll find that your communications will gain traction.

The vehicle or venue you select to deliver your message is just as important as the point itself. Good news should be presented in an upbeat setting, and more serious subjects should be broached in a setting that’s “strictly business.”

If you’re open and succinct, you find that your team will mimic your style. Communications will become understandable and actionable.