It’s Not “What” you say It’s “How” you say it!

The delivery of the message is more than half the battle, especially in leadership. Of course what you say matters, but how you say it, how you relate to people, is what differentiates great leaders from the pack.   That means you can have innovative ideas, indeed you must, but if you can’t deliver them in a way that connects with people and relates to them in a meaningful way, you won’t get results.

Over the years working with many CEO’s I’ve seen those that started out brash, aggressive and only worried about their success and driving results. That only gets you so far.  The smart (and really successful ones) learned the importance and motivational impact of genuinely connecting with people in a meaningful way.

That transition doesn’t happen all at once, it’s a process of continuous improvement and the learning never really stops. So, wherever you are in your journey to the top, these 5 tips will help to improve your delivery so people will want to be a part of whatever it is you’re doing.

Look people straight in the eye and really “see” them. If you take one thing away from this post, this is the one. It’s huge.  When you look someone straight in the eye, you’re initiating a potentially deep connection that can’t be achieved any other way. It also shows respect, i.e. there’s nothing more dismissive and demeaning than not “recognizing” someone by looking directly at them.

Increase your self-awareness. How you say things is more about how you feel than what you think. If people have trouble relating to you or respecting you, chances are you’re not as self-aware as you think you are. The only way to change that is to find out what employees, peers, and your boss like and don’t like about how you communicate. Being open to feedback is the only place to start.

Be direct and genuine. The big problem with political correctness is that it’s hard enough to be straightforward and direct with people as it is. The whole Political Correctness thing just adds layers of complexity that make it so much harder to be straightforward in a work environment. Actually, the more direct and genuine you are with people, the greater their sense of trust and the more respect they’ll have for you.

Executive presence isn’t about power and domination. This is perhaps the biggest misconception about executive presence. It doesn’t come from command and control, it comes from connecting and relating, from sharing your passion in a way that’s meaningful to others. It breaks down barriers.

Learn to be a storyteller. People relate to stories and storytellers. People don’t remember facts and figures or even logical arguments as well as they remember stories. They also find it easier to connect with storytellers. If you really want to relate to people in a deep way, tell them stories they can relate to.

Trust Builds Great Employees

The glue that holds all relationships together — including the relationship between the leader and those they lead is trust, and trust is based on integrity.

When employees do not trust managers and leaders, various forms of organizational fallout are likely, including low engagement (people seem like they don’t care), high turnover and reduced innovation (no creative solutions or ideas).  Rebuilding trust isn’t easy, just as with customers who lose trust.  If employees don’t trust their boss or their boss’ boss, they begin to question how they fit in with the company and will have less pride in the organization overall.

Individuals can enjoy their work and have a strong sense of accomplishment, but Trust has to be present for employees to do go beyond the call of duty, to be innovative.  The more groundbreaking the innovation needed, the more trust must be present. Trust is built over time as people get to know each other.  Employees must trust that their co-workers and direct supervisors are competent (head trust) and will do the employee no harm (heart trust).

A single triggering event, such as a restructuring or other organizational change, can reduce the level of trust employees have in leaders.  As can other single events, such as a manager who takes credit for an employee’s work or lies to them.

Most of the time, trust erodes as a result of small subtle patterns of behavior that employees experience on a daily basis that go unaddressed. For example, working with peers who fail to prepare for a meeting, are slow to respond to e-mail or who gossip regularly. While they don’t get addressed, they don’t go unnoticed.  The result of such unaddressed behavior is that employees leave the company or, worse yet, they stay. They become the working wounded – they stay, they complain, they do as little as possible, eventually bringing others down with them.

The Reina Trust and Betrayal Model describes three main types of transactional trust:

• Contractual trust—trust of character. Do people do what they say they are going to do? Do managers and employees make clear what they expect of one another?
• Communication trust—trust of disclosure. How well people share information and tell the truth.
• Competence trust—trust of capability. How well people carry out responsibilities and acknowledge other people’s skills and abilities.

The key thing about transactional trust is that it is reciprocal in nature; you have to give it to get it.  There are specific, concrete behaviors that build trust.

• Ability: the manager’s ability to do their job.
• Understanding: displaying knowledge and understanding of employees’ roles and responsibilities.
• Fairness: behaving fairly and showing concern for the welfare of employees.
• Openness: being accessible and receptive to ideas and opinions.
• Integrity: striving to be honest and fair in decision-making.
• Consistency: behaving in a reliable and predictable manner.

So take a look at your employees, what does their behavior say about their trust in you.  If it doesn’t look good, take the steps now to begin the process of rebuilding trust.

Leading as a passenger

For many leaders who are accustomed to being in control in their lives and at work giving up the reigns can be extremely difficult.  I compare it to teaching your teenager how to drive.  When a new driver is practicing driving, you sit next to them as they take the steering wheel and brakes; they are in control and you are there to offer (hopefully calm) guidance and advice. I know it doesn’t always work that way.

Being a leader has a lot in common with the parent helping their teen to learn driving skills. Leadership is a hands-off activity that allows your team to take control of the daily work while you guide and coach from the passenger seat. It can sometimes be hard to respectfully refrain from trying to grab the steering wheel or putting the brakes on.

Letting go and allowing your team to take the steering wheel is not always comfortable. There will be mistakes made, but if you learn to pay attention without meddling while providing a light touch in guiding them, it can also be one of the most rewarding experiences you’ll have.

As a leader, you’ll be most successful when you don’t try to drive for others. Learning to sit in the passenger seat isn’t easy, but it can be a great ride when you:

Trust them. How do you know if your staff is capable if you don’t trust them to do the things they were hired to do? Trust that they are, and your advantage is that they will trust you back. If the level of work you give them has a mix of things that meet or exceed what they are capable of, chances are that you’ll be glad you allowed them to drive.

Lead with clarity. Be clear about your expectations and outcomes. Go ahead and tell them why you are requesting that they do the work you’re delegating. Make sure these initial conversations are two-way so that you can be assured that they understand what you are asking them to do. They will be most successful when you clearly dialog with them about the work they need to do.

Are available. Especially when your team members are learning new things, make sure that they know when you are available to talk through their dilemmas. Perhaps you might want to set up meetings with them more frequently than you have, or make sure you put time into your schedule to check in with them to ask if they have questions or need assistance without falling into the trap of solving all the problems for them.

Coach them along the way. You still need to be informed of the work your staff is doing, but you should do your best to refrain from telling them how to do it. And unless they ask for instruction or they are getting into trouble, lay off on the advice-giving and problem-solving. Instead, gently guide them with questions that help them to figure out the best way to proceed: “What’s your next step?” “How will you begin?” and “What do you need from me?” are great questions to ask.

Encourage, thank, and celebrate. These are the seemingly small things (to you) that are big things to your staff and the success of your organization. When they are on the right track, encourage them to go further. Thank them for what they do well. Celebrate success so that everyone can see great examples of work well done.

Leading from the passenger side isn’t easy, but when done well, it can be a rewarding experience for a leader to watch employees develop, learn their own ways of getting things done, and become an example for others.

Who you are really does matter!

I hope 2013 found you with happiness, Joy and Success.  Remember that you cannot change your past, but you can learn from your mistakes to make a better future.

Real leadership isn’t in a title. A title is the role an organization says you’re supposed to play. That can change in a brief moment. Leadership is about who you really are.

Why is who you are so important?

Because…………………….

1. Who You Are determines how you are.

2. How You Are determines the quality and depth of your relationships.

3. The quality and depth of your relationships determines your ability to mobilize people–workers, family, or friends–in time of need.

4. The quality of your relationships determines the breadth and depth of help you’ll receive in your time of need.

5. Who You Are determines your brand while you’re alive and your legacy afterward.

Take time this year to build a firm foundation that won’t shake and crack with the first sign of adversity.

Job Performance or Job Satisfaction

Which comes first for you?  Depending upon your own inclination, you may marvel or  frown at the opposite choice. But, if you want to “get it” as a manager or as an individual contributor, then think about this: Statistically it’s a 50/50 split. About half the population wants to work toward a specific goal in order to achieve job satisfaction.  The other half wants to make sure that the elements of their job offer a “good fit” so they can perform at their optimum level.

I do a lot of individual assessments for organizations and have found that the inclinations are quite inherent. However, each type can learn how to adapt to what is required at the moment.

What can you do?

Increase your awareness. Look at your own preference and then start watching those around you. Who has to work before they can play? Who is making sure that the group is in harmony before moving forward?

What does it take to achieve the goal? If you’re in a crisis situation or up against a deadline, feeling-good-first may put you out of business. You’ve got to get it done! When you are focused on long-term projects which require a lot of cooperation and solid relationships, then take the time to build them. People will need to trust each other a lot in order to get through the inevitable difficulties that will take place. That can’t happen if people are only allowed to pay attention to a checklist.

Both types want some sense of acknowledgment when goals are achieved. I have more than one client who has told me “They get to keep their jobs. What else should I have to do?” Well, human beings look for recognition of some type when they know they’ve done a really good job. It doesn’t cost a thing to acknowledge people by name and what they specifically contributed to a project.  And it might just improve performance and satisfaction for everyone involved.

Is Performance Management Losing Focus?

Performance management is becoming a lost art, omitted from academic classes and dropped from certification programs.  Most MBA courses spend more time on finance courses than on compensation (if at all).  While admittedly many managers have had inadequate training in basic supervision, some simply choose to ignore good leadership practices.  Let’s face it.  It’s hard to manage people the right way.   It takes a lot of time and it can be uncomfortable, especially for those that shy away from conflict.

Weak and ineffectual managers don’t actually manage their employees, in the sense of performance direction, leadership, setting good examples and decision-making. Instead, they want to be liked. They want to avoid conflict and so they use pay increases and other reward systems to keep employees doing what they need to do and support of their efforts.  It’s really kind of a bribe.

So what is “managing” to these people? It’s not about making hard decisions. Too often it’s trying to get the most for their employees, deserved or otherwise, whether the organization gains in the process or not. The manager is focused on their own interests, and is using someone else’s money to fund their behavior.

Why it doesn’t work

Relying on pay or other rewards as a replacement for good management has a short effective life cycle.

• Employees see arbitrary same-same pay treatment as de-motivating to high performers.  Why bother extending yourself if you’re going to receive the same reward as the guy doing crossword puzzles?

• Employees resent favoritism and those who benefit for non-performance reasons will always become known. There goes your morale.

• No amount of money replaces the value of honest performance direction and feedback. Those with an interest in learning and growing appreciate the help.

• Ineffective managers eventually lose the respect of their employees, who know what’s going on. Remember that employees leave managers, not companies.

For managers who need a crutch to help motivate and retain their employees, to help them do their jobs, the above cautions likely won’t make a difference. Their goal is not to manage, but to get-by, to be liked by their employees and to avoid disruptions to their routine. This is not leadership, but administration.

But for those managers who wish to make a difference, who understand that managing employees is a challenging and rewarding role, abrogating responsibility through pay and rewards is not an option.  They recognize it as the opposite of management, a damaging practice that will not enhance anyone’s long term career prospects.

People want to be guided by those they respect and who have a clear sense of direction.

So you have created your company. You have the talent, you have the vision, you have the infrastructure, you know where you want to take the business in the coming years, but how do you take everything and allow it to become a self-sustaining machine that will allow your company to grow?

Developing core values can become the philosophical pillars upon which your company is built, but that won’t happen unless owners and senior leaders set the example for everyone else in the company. It’s extremely important for a company’s leaders to “live it” when it comes to the guiding principles of your business.

I’ve seen many company’s become stagnant because leadership places demands on the staff that they are not willing to do or demonstrate themselves.  Some of these business owners or senior leaders believe they have done their part by developing the business and giving people jobs, now it’s their turn.  The expectation that the employees are going to want to work long and hard just because they have a job is foolish.  It just doesn’t work this way.

People want to follow true leadership.  People want to be guided by those they respect and who have a clear sense of direction.  If your business is to flourish, your job as a leader is to work tirelessly to communicate with your employees in many different forms.

Every successful leader I speak with understands the power of communication and respect in an organization.  They understand that when employees identify with the core values and why business decisions are made, they feel part of the team and want to take the organization to the next level.

So take a look at where your company is today and where it was when you started. If your business hasn’t truly moved to the next level and instead of adding employees to support your growth, you’re simply replacing staff that has left.  You may want to take a deep look at what you may be doing wrong.  “Keep in mind,” if you’re measuring revenue, remember the high cost of employee turnover.  When you lose a good employee, you also lose their knowledge, skills and experience.  Training someone new takes you away from those things necessary to move your business to that next level. 

The basics of good leadership

Throughout my career I have had the opportunity to work with numerous senior leaders.  In trying to understand where I may be able to help them I typically ask “What are the three or four biggest challenges you’re facing in your business right now?” Even with an incredibly diverse sample of businesses, it has been interesting to see a clear pattern emerge of four specific issues that the vast majority of these leaders identify as the things that are holding their organizations back and keep them up at night.

1. Lack of a vivid and extremely well-communicated vision

Even though these leaders are passionate about the vision and direction of their company, they reluctantly admit that if you were to go just one or two levels below them in the organization, you would likely find very few, if any, employees that truly understand the vision, mission and core values of their organization. A major job of every leader, whether you lead two people or 20,000, is to relentlessly communicate an exciting and clear vision for the future of the organization. In one-on-one meetings, town halls, e-mails, voice mails, team meetings …  the goal is to help people clearly see where the business is headed and what they need to focus on to make sure you all arrive there together successfully.

2. Lack of open, honest and courageous communication

The inability or unwillingness to put difficult, uncomfortable and awkward topics on the table for candid and transparent discussion was identified by these leaders as a major inhibitor to their ability to build strong teams and get their organizations fully aligned. As Patrick Lencioni points out in his superb book “The Five Dysfunctions of a Team,” in large part this lack of openness stems from a fundamental absence of trust that leads to unwillingness by people on the team to be vulnerable and completely honest. However, the desperate need for courageous communication and high levels of transparency is powerfully demonstrated in Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner’s seminal book “The Leadership Challenge,” which undeniably shows that honesty is the single most important driver in establishing credibility as a leader. Especially in times of great turmoil like we are facing now, employees crave as much information as they can get about how things are going in the company and what they need to do to keep it moving forward. Where there is a lack of a well-communicated vision mission and values, you quickly see fear, politics, rumor-mongering rushing in to fill the void.

3. Lack of accountability

As a direct result of the lack of honesty and courageous communication mentioned above, one of the difficult conversations not occurring is a frank discussion about tolerating mediocre performance. After taking a good, hard look at their business, many of the leaders I work with realize that they have a few mediocre performers in key positions in their organization and that every day they leave them there is another day they are in effect saying to the rest of the company, we were just kidding about pursuing excellence.  The truth is it is not right to let a small few jeopardize the organization and destroy their own career because their leader did not have the courage to tell them the truth about their poor performance. Here is a test will bring this into sharp focus:  Think of a person in your organization that consistently delivers sub par work, turn things in late and has a poor attitude. … Now realize that, because they still have their job, this individual is the person who establishes the level of acceptable work for every other employee in your company. How does that make you feel?

4. Lack of disciplined execution

What percentage of the time do you think companies that have a solid plan for how to succeed in the marketplace … actually effectively execute to plan? The answer has remained the same year after year: 10 to 15%. That number is shockingly low.  What is even more devastating is to realize the monumental waste of talent, resources, opportunity and money that low number represents. However, the process for ensuring effective execution is really straightforward and simple. Just a handful of key steps need to be applied with vigor and total accountability. Leaders just have to be willing and able develop a culture of disciplined execution by establishing the systems, processes and checkpoints to ensure consistent flawless execution of all critical initiatives

At the end of the day, none of the things listed here are particularly new or revolutionary. Actually, I am sure that most of us will recognize them as well-established fundamentals for leading a world-class organization. However there is a huge difference between knowing something … and living it every day in your organization.

It’s simple, why don’t they get it…Maybe it’s you.

Whenever managers talk to me about work issues, the conversation inevitably turns to employees seeming to “not listen.”   Evidence…..Work is not getting done according to plan. Work is not meeting requirements or it’s not on time, or not getting done at all. I often hear some form of the frustrated plea, “I don’t know how else to get this through to them, they just need to understand …”

Can you relate, for the sake of argument let’s presuppose that your employees are reasonably smart people and not making your life miserable on purpose. Let’s take the focus off of why they don’t get it and instead focus on what you can do to change things.

Check your assumptions. You know an assumption is going on when you find yourself thinking, “You’d think (fill in the blank),” as in:

• You’d think they would know that’s a high priority.
• You’d think they would realize since I asked for it, I actually need it.
• You’d think it would be easier to ask for help than cause a delay because he didn’t know the answer.

When I find myself saying “You’d think …” it’s now a trigger for me to “think again.”

Even the best of us can get caught with this. We communicate the way we’ve always done. It mostly works, and then with one person it doesn’t. But, you’d think they would get it. I mean, everyone else has always gotten it before. There are some more assumptions: thinking all people think alike or worse, think like you.

When you get stuck and find yourself thinking, “You’d think,” ASK yourself if they really do know the priority, how much you need whatever or the impact of a delay. What could be standing in the way of that? And then …

Really check for understanding. We think we’re reasonable communicators, presumably speaking the same language. We don’t think too hard about checking for understanding. At most, it’s “Do you understand?”

If you do ask, even if your employee responds with a “yes,” you still really don’t know whether they understand, do you? He might really believe he understands. Or he might be placating you. With most people, this might be all you need to do. And yet, with one employee, you may find yourself frustrated because what ends up being delivered is not what you thought you communicated.

When thinking about what else to try, if you find yourself thinking, “I just need to get them to understand XXXXXXXXXX,” slow down for a moment. You’ve already been trying to “get them to understand.” It’s not working. Try something like this instead: “Just so we’re on the same page, what do you understand we just agreed to?”

Don’t get hung up on the wording. Do check your attitude. The point is to get their thinking out on the table so you can both see it and work with it.

If you find yourself resisting this …

Check yourself. At this point, you might find yourself thinking one of two things, “I don’t want them to think I’m a micro-manager” or “I shouldn’t have to do this for them, they should know better.”

Get over it. A huge part of your job is to facilitate people getting things done. You don’t have to be a control freak, a nursemaid or a bully about it. Challenge yourself to take your ability to lead to another level. In those situations when “doing what you’ve always done” is not working — they aren’t going to change with hoping, wishing or judging that it just shouldn’t be that way. Take their performance, and yours, to the next level by examining your own assumptions, and finding a way to advance understanding and determine how you need to make changes to your style to make it happen.

 

Focus Your Leadership

Successful business relies upon the ability of the organization to have a strong purpose.  That fact has never really changed regardless of economic or other unforeseen circumstances.

I find that some leaders tend to want to find someone to “blame” for their challenges.  If you’re looking for some concise tips to focus your leadership, here are eight from the wisdom of the late Peter Drucker:

1. Make sure that what makes a difference gets done.

2. Check your performance against previously defined goals.

3. Say no to things that don’t contribute to the real mission.

4. Know early when to stop trying doing something that can’t be done.

5. Organize travel and leverage new technology if it’s possible.

6. Have a maximum of two organizational goals at the same time.

7. Make sure the people around you understand your priorities.

8. Build on your strengths. Find strong people to do the other necessary tasks.

To fully digest the expanded wisdom of Peter Drucker, pick up a copy of The Essential Drucker or any of his books. If you are a practicing manager you’ll find them crisp, to the point, and genuinely useful.